In the heart forever

Friends.
We all have friends.

Because friends are vital to have a happy life.
To have somebody who is close and with who much can be shared.
To have somebody for who we are always available when the friend is in need.

One of the oldest friends is a film director from France.
The first time he was met was on a canal boat in Amsterdam, the Netherlands in 1986.
Immediately there was a special connection and soon after the friendship continued during long stays in Paris, France.

This friendship has lasted now for over forty years.
And although there have been intervals that there were no meetings in person for quite some time, each new opportunity of getting together instantly this special connection existed again.

It combined with the birthday when there was a new and long conversation very recently.
One friend in a hotel room in Montreal, Canada and the other friend in a camper in Mexico.
Communicating from laptop computers with Skype on the Internet.

And in spite of the modern but rather superficial technique of communication, immediately there was a closeness and intimacy again as if the meeting was in one room.

It is indescribable the joy and happiness that is felt to learn the long time friend is healthy, happy and doing very well.
And to be able to inform the friend that the conditions on the own side are absolutely the same.
The joy and happiness to realize that 40 years have gone by and that both of the comrades are still doing well and continue to be in warm friendship.
That they have not fallen into any kind of serious and fatal suffering.

During the conversation, seeing each other on the computer screen, a silence occurred.
A silence that lasted that long that it obtained a very special meaning.
A silence that opened the way to feel something extraordinary:
the deep realization that the long time friend has been and will be in the heart forever.



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Men kissing

The last few days, there were new visitors in the dry riverbed of Punta Boca del Salado.
Remarkably, the visit consisted of two old RV’s.
In each one man.
Peter and David are friends.

They parked their RV’s at a large distance from each other.
And each man stayed in his own rig most of the time.

Later, they came over for a chat interested as they were in the Fuso Szulc.

It was an opportunity to observe a friendship between men.
That is very different from friendship between women.

Men are friends in a different way than women are.

There is competition between men most of the time.
One man tries to be on top of the other constantly.
Therefore, they are in rivalry.
It is dressed in humour or sarcasm, but the underlying issue is the need for one to feel better and stronger than the other.

This awful build-in automatism of men stops them from simply being nice to each other.
Of being sweet, caring and close.
To be vulnerable.

Men talk about a lot but some subjects are absolutely taboo.
One no-go area is sexuality.
Male friends never talk about their personal experience of sexuality.
If they talk about sexuality it is within this context of trying to be the upper dog by boosting, exaggerating and booming the own achievements and sexual escapades.
But no man will talk with a friend for example about masturbating.
No man will talk about being serviced by prostitutes.
The man is too afraid to become vulnerable so that the other might make fun of him and be stronger and dominating.

This fear of men to become intimate with other men about the real personal things in life and to have a true very close friendship, is also made impossible for most men because of an obsession.
If a man becomes really close when talking to a woman, this may evolve into a sexual relationship.
This the man usually does not fear.
Essential in this option is that the consequence of the growing closer process and the possible resulting sexual encounter is that the man ultimately might penetrate the woman.
However, if a man grows very close to another man, a possible sexual relationship might result eventually in being penetrated by the other man.
And this is for most heterosexual men more than a nightmare.
This stops many men to be as intimate with men as they are with women.

For women it is different.
If a friendship blossoms, it can result in becoming physically intimate as well.
However, there can be no penetration.
No fear for copying the reproduction act.
A woman touching another woman can be sincere and innocent.
A man touching another man is loaded with heavy-duty consequences.


In a way it is sad to see two nice guys travelling and being so afraid of each other.
Keeping an enormous distance because of games of competition and fear of becoming emotionally and physically intimate.

There are maybe things women can learn from men.
But definitely men can learn a lot from women.

Men may try in their lives to go beyond always trying to be the upper dog.
And they may want to find out that to hug and kiss another man doesn’t necessarily mean being visited where the sun never shines.
Just don’t kiss him on the lips.








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