Men kissing

The last few days, there were new visitors in the dry riverbed of Punta Boca del Salado.
Remarkably, the visit consisted of two old RV’s.
In each one man.
Peter and David are friends.

They parked their RV’s at a large distance from each other.
And each man stayed in his own rig most of the time.

Later, they came over for a chat interested as they were in the Fuso Szulc.

It was an opportunity to observe a friendship between men.
That is very different from friendship between women.

Men are friends in a different way than women are.

There is competition between men most of the time.
One man tries to be on top of the other constantly.
Therefore, they are in rivalry.
It is dressed in humour or sarcasm, but the underlying issue is the need for one to feel better and stronger than the other.

This awful build-in automatism of men stops them from simply being nice to each other.
Of being sweet, caring and close.
To be vulnerable.

Men talk about a lot but some subjects are absolutely taboo.
One no-go area is sexuality.
Male friends never talk about their personal experience of sexuality.
If they talk about sexuality it is within this context of trying to be the upper dog by boosting, exaggerating and booming the own achievements and sexual escapades.
But no man will talk with a friend for example about masturbating.
No man will talk about being serviced by prostitutes.
The man is too afraid to become vulnerable so that the other might make fun of him and be stronger and dominating.

This fear of men to become intimate with other men about the real personal things in life and to have a true very close friendship, is also made impossible for most men because of an obsession.
If a man becomes really close when talking to a woman, this may evolve into a sexual relationship.
This the man usually does not fear.
Essential in this option is that the consequence of the growing closer process and the possible resulting sexual encounter is that the man ultimately might penetrate the woman.
However, if a man grows very close to another man, a possible sexual relationship might result eventually in being penetrated by the other man.
And this is for most heterosexual men more than a nightmare.
This stops many men to be as intimate with men as they are with women.

For women it is different.
If a friendship blossoms, it can result in becoming physically intimate as well.
However, there can be no penetration.
No fear for copying the reproduction act.
A woman touching another woman can be sincere and innocent.
A man touching another man is loaded with heavy-duty consequences.


In a way it is sad to see two nice guys travelling and being so afraid of each other.
Keeping an enormous distance because of games of competition and fear of becoming emotionally and physically intimate.

There are maybe things women can learn from men.
But definitely men can learn a lot from women.

Men may try in their lives to go beyond always trying to be the upper dog.
And they may want to find out that to hug and kiss another man doesn’t necessarily mean being visited where the sun never shines.
Just don’t kiss him on the lips.








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