A castleless princess

It is the second time to read Tom Wolfe's "A man in full" and after the daily beach walk it is always the right time to enjoy some more chapters and devour his fabulous mastery of English and satire.

When suddenly a coquettish voice behind was heard saying: "Knock, knock".
Holy mackerel!
Right beside the Fuso Szulc expedition vehicle Princess Snow White herself...
In a beautiful dress and with a magical smile.



The pioneering photographer: Welcome your royal highness!

Princess Snow White: You can keep it informal: simply call me Princess.

The pioneering photographer: Well, Princess, what an honor you come by for a visit. Did you have a pleasant journey?

Princess Snow White: Oh, we magical people are never tired. And we don't travel. We just are.

The pioneering photographer: How interesting! By the way, not long ago dwarf Shifty passed by also and talked about you.

Princess Snow White: Really? And what did he have to say?

The pioneering photographer: Well. How to explain this? He said that the seven dwarves had enjoyed very much the time you were in their hands. But that nowadays they are sad that you left them and are living in a castle with a Prince.

Princess Snow White: For sure they are sad I am not "in their hands" anymore!

The pioneering photographer: Princess, what do you mean by that?

Princess Snow White: I will not give you the details but do you believe that me getting into a coma happened just like that?

The pioneering photographer: You, Princess Snow White, was in a coma while with the dwarves and not in a deep sleep?

Princess Snow White: Yes, a coma and you know why?

The pioneering photographer: Did you bump your head or something?

Princess Snow White: No! It was the dwarves!! Although a little bit about it was published in the LaLaLand Gazette, not many people know that the dwarves have not been behaving in an appropriate way while I was with them.

The pioneering photographer: You mean to say that the dwarves have been molesting you, Princess Snow White?

Princess Snow White: It was so bad I fell into a coma.

The pioneering photographer: So sorry to hear this. Those damned dwarves. Couldn't keep their hands off a Princess and now your name, Snow White, is shattered too. We can be sure the dwarves call you now Princess Grey White after the things they did to you.

Princess Snow White: Fortunately the Prince that kissed me back to life didn't know about it.
But moving to his castle and living with the Prince turned out to be a nightmare too.

The pioneering photographer: Oh no, Princess Snow White, this is all so shocking. It is believed you lived a life of a fairy tale princess.

Princess Snow White: This Prince, he made me do all the bookkeeping of his castle. You know, IRS, income tax, property tax. The whole administration. I spent more time working in the office than riding Blackie the horse.

The pioneering photographer: So, what did you do?

Princess Snow White: I left the Prince and his confounded castle.

The pioneering photographer: And now? Where do you live and with who?

Princess Snow White: You could say I am castleless now and single too.

The pioneering photographer: Without a castle and single, you say?

Princess Snow White: Yes... Give me a handkerchief please, to wipe these tears from my eyes.

The pioneering photographer: What a dramatic situation: Princess Grey White, sorry, Princess Snow White all on her own in this cruel world.
You need help, your majesty. Somebody new to take care of you. To treat you as a real Princess. Not like those dwarves and the Prince did. You need a real gentleman.

Princess Snow White: You sound like one.

The pioneering photographer: Well, what to say? Thank you, Princess.

Princess Snow White: Maybe I should move in with you?

The pioneering photographer: For sure there are no dwarves around here and neither is there financial administration to do. No danger to fall in a coma again.

Princess Snow White: You have a comfortable bed?

The pioneering photographer: It is a Tempur-Pedic! The best there is!!

Princess Snow White: No peas or other objects underneath?

The pioneering photographer: It is a most comfy bed where two can sleep peacefully.

Princess Snow White: Be aware though that you will sleep at the foot of the bed.

The pioneering photographer: Not next to you?

Princess Snow White: At the foot, you hear?

The pioneering photographer: But how about kissing you goodnight?

Princess Snow White: You are allowed to kiss my feet.

The pioneering photographer: And you, Princess, my ass.

Instantly she was gone.
Totally disappeared.
What a thing to say to a Princess: kiss my ass!
What a dwarf!



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