Thursday, November 15, 2007

Life in the rosegarden.

One domain where pragmatism is highly effective is what Pat Benatar calls the battlefield of love.

Just realize this:
Many people who are in a relationship secretly dream of being by themselves because times with the partner are too rough.
Many people who are single often dream of sharing life with somebody when loneliness hits hard.

It is the grass that is greener on the other side of the hill syndrome.
A devastating and destructive mental and emotional state of being.
The fantasy and imagination create an image of the desired situation in its most favourable way.
Out of opportunism, and fed by the negativity of the current situation, only the positive sides are imagined of the new situation.
And a strong longing and desiring to move over to that other situation dominate the feelings, the mood and the thinking.

There are two sides to this attitude.
One is that living in the current situation becomes unsatisfactory because the person is often floating with the mind in this ideal imagination putting the actual situation deeper into negativity.
The situation in which one lives does not get a fair chance to be experienced fully, and that includes the positive aspects of it.
Second side is that if one does decide to get out and move into the situation that was imagined before, only disappointment will be experienced.
The truth is found out that the grass is actually not greener on the other side of the hill at all.
That in the new situation that had been thought of as so ideal, negative aspects also exist.

A pragmatist has another way of thinking.
Remember, pragmatism is going in the direction that the success of the practical application is showing.
For a pragmatist it makes no difference to be single or to share life with a partner.
Both are good.
This is because the pragmatist looks at the practical situation and sees that a person who is single has advantages and disadvantages.
And when the pragmatist looks at a person sharing life with a partner the same phenomenon can be observed: there are advantages and disadvantages.
The pragmatist next sees that the advantages and disadvantages differ.
For the single person and the person with a partner those advantages and disadvantages are not the same.
For example, the person with a partner comes home where the partner is waiting who has cooked a delicious meal.
The single person comes home and, not disturbed by anyone, can finish all the work that was waiting while eating a self-made sandwich.
This example shows that the person with the partner has a fantastic homecoming but won’t be able to have any work done.
It shows that the single person can finish the work but has to eat alone and just a sandwich.

The pragmatist has therefore as a conclusion that no matter in what kind of situation you are, both have advantages and disadvantages.
So, what does it matter what is the situation?
None whatsoever.
Fundamentally they are equal.

Pragmatic is to accept life as it is.
To enjoy the good sides and accept honourable the bad sides.
You happen to be single?
You happen to be with a partner?
Pragmatically, it is the same and the best that happens.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

I guess your perspective would be true if our lives were only to be lived for gratification of the self. A simple list of the advantages and disadvantages could be the basis of a decision to share life with a partner. Of course, that excludes real love. It's a good thing my mother doesn't base her decision to stay with my father on whether or not she gets a sandwich at the end of the day, since he has alzheimers and never gives her anything but trouble.