Desire as a circus act

Cathy said: "I am so terribly disappointed in you".
While Pete had no idea what his girlfriend was talking about.

It is not easy to have a decent and constructive conversation clearing skies between partners in life when one of the two is occupied with feelings of strong disappointment in the other.
Hence, Cathy and Pete crashed into a bad relationship brawl.

What was the matter then between Cathy and Peter?
They were together for four years.
And Cathy had expected that Pete would invite her on the evening of the day of celebration to a nice restaurant and she expected him to ask her to marry him.

For Pete it was different.
He didn't even remember the exact day when he started dating Cathy.
And thoughts to marry her were less on his mind than the hard time he was having in keeping his job.

In general, each person has certain desires.
Possibly expressed in expectations.

Cathy was desiring to have a romantic dinner with a marriage proposal coming out of the vortex.
That desire she transformed into an expectation projected on Pete.

Of course Pete is a man that is not fully into his relationship with Cathy.
If it is serious, a man should remember certain vital dates related to the partner and the relationship.
Invite the lady for romantic dinners and bring her flowers once in a while.
To make work not more important if it is the woman of the dreams.

But Cathy too has some work to do.
A desire is a personal thing and it is very inappropriate and destructive to transform desires into expectations to be fulfilled by others.
That is asking for trouble.
Dumping tons of disappointment into the own heart.

A desire can be seen as something that comes up in the heart.
It can grow to large proportions but the trick is to remain the observer.
Not to have the desire encapsulate life and become the commander.
Once the desire is in control, bridges are made with other people who are expected to satisfy the desire.
In most cases that doesn't work resulting in deep disappointment and often a ruined relationship.
But the Cathy's among us who can observe neutrally a desire develop by circling around the phenomenon free as a bird, do not need to get others involved.
The desire grows and grows and the most fantastic thing is that by remaining an observer and avoiding being overwhelmed and taken over by the desire, it eventually starts to lose momentum.
Like threatening clouds building up in the sky, inspiring to quickly find an umbrella, the wind blows the clouds away to see a blue sky again.
Remaining the observer is like the own desire performing on a stage in a theater.
The show starts, it is performed and it ends.
Or see it as a balloon.
It swells and gets a round proportion until the air comes out again and the balloon shrivels to nothingness.

Cathy would have made her life much more easy if she had been able to be aware of her desire as an observer.
And her relationship with Pete would not have been damaged needing serious repair after the projection of her expectations on him.
If they are to marry, no desires are needed.
It will happen one day when time has come.

Some weeks ago, because of a new contact, suddenly tremendous desire arose at El Triple.
Fortunately, at this location, life is very meditative.
Relaxed, calm and peaceful.
A perfect situation to avoid to become driven by sudden strong emotions.
To loose one's head and start projecting expectations.
Trying to force the other person to satisfy the desire.

The desire did not manage to come inside and take over but is observed hovering like a hurricane above the Pacific Ocean.
Losing power, influence and impact.

The contact with the person in question continues though.
Without disappointment.



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