Thursday, April 3, 2008

A very sad story.

Just before leaving for India about three weeks ago, the news came that one of the nephews in the Netherlands had passed away.
What exactly had happened was not revealed.

The mystery was cleared up yesterday.
It was informed that the nephew, who worked as a lawyer in an office in the city of Amsterdam, Holland, had left his office at about 8.30 PM.
To go to a place where trains pass by at speeds of 140 kilometres per hour (86 miles).
He has put himself on the tracks and was hit.
Later, the only thing the police was able to find were his shoes and his wallet.

Can a story be sadder?
The young man must have been ultimately desperate without seeing another way out of the problems he was living.
Problems nobody was aware of.
Not even the ones close to him.
Nobody suspected he was struggling with issues that could drive him to end his life.

The nephew had a dinner appointment with this photographer the next day.
A dinner that was to be postponed due to fever and flue.
However, the nephew actually decided the cancellation of the appointment.
Later in his office his notebook was found with clearly marked the dinner appointment with his uncle.
But that obviously was not a strong incentive enough to continue living.

This nephew, although the son of the brother, was an unknown person.
Never a conversation or a meeting had been taking place.
This was an unsatisfying situation.
Warm and close relationships exist with friends and the desire is there to have this as well with the different family members.
For some time, e-mail communication was initiated with the nephew for this reason.
To try to meet him.
To get to know him.
To develop a normal relationship with him.

He was interested.
And had eventually agreed to dine together.

But it was not to be.

Immediately everybody concerned asks the question of why?
Why would a young man, living with a girlfriend, having a good job, facing a challenging career, being in good health, seeing his parents and girl friend’s parents regularly, having many friends, a good income, why would he decide to get out of life?
And in this macabre and awful way?

Those are unanswerable questions because he is not among us anymore.
And he didn’t leave behind any clue.
And that makes it difficult.
It is impossible to understand it.
And to accept his action.

This is the hardest on his parents.
Who are fighting now to create, in spite of all, new perspective in their lives.

Although the nephew was an unknown person, there is a deep impact anyway.
A struggle with the impossibility to understand.
The inability to accept and see any logic or purpose in this experience in life yet.

And this is the second time.
Some 20 years ago a very close friend also ended her life the day before we were to have dinner.
That repetition makes everything even more puzzling and bizarre.
And hard to swallow.



1 comment:

Gail Harris said...

I was so sorry to read about your cousin. Please know that my prayers and thoughts are with you, and the family he leaves behind.