Monday, August 20, 2007

Green grass growing in the desert.

This is the 9th day of the retreat.
For 8 days no other human being has been met.

The world is still there, it seems, but not here.
Radio and Internet report and this information confirms the existence of the others but is almost abstract in the deprived reality of El Triple.

Before the sun rises, the night of sleep is ended.
The dreams are first realized and thought over: not very interesting to do because these days all dreams every night are about houses.
Looking for a new home to buy.
Visiting a new home to live in.
And all this in a most emotional way.

The subconscious has been informed that the message by now is clear, but the dreams keep on coming.

It is considered one of the imperfections of a human being.
Always looking for and desiring something new and different.

It has been a dream of many years to live and work at El Triple in a self-designed expedition vehicle.
Now this dream has come true and one would expect the person responsible for this feat to be completely satisfied and content.
In the consciousness this is happening.
There is a high degree of satisfaction, self-respect and joy for being now in the Fuso Szulc at El Triple.

But the subconscious starts nagging and whining and pretending something else now is even more important.

So, after waking up and while realizing the dreams of the recent night learning once more it is about housing and homes, the subconscious hears from the dreamer:
“You, subconscious, you go and fuck yourself.”

Well yes, because what kind of nonsense is this?
When still living in this beautiful house in the wonderful village of Cadaques, Spain, the subconscious was inspiring dreams of living in an expedition vehicle at El Triple.
Now that this has become reality the subconscious inspires to dream about homes.

Imagine that the subconscious is being taken seriously.
The Fuso Szulc would go up for sale and a home somewhere bought.
Once in that new home the dreams will nag to live in an expedition vehicle.

Besides, the consciousness is super content in the Fuso Szulc and happy and joyful and productive.
Therefore the conclusion for today is that sometimes the subconscious must be overruled and instructed to shut the fuck up.

But maybe the communication with the subconscious should take place on more friendly terms.
Usually it is not very effective nor productive, let alone elegant and erudite, to shout things like “Go fuck yourself” and “Shut the fuck up”.
It is not very likely the subconscious will refrain from now on, intimidated by the shouting and expressed irritation, of inspiring dreams about issues playing in its territory.
To the contrary.
Most likely, like a child, the more it is opposed, the more it will make itself feel.

Today thinking will be about how to approach the subconscious in a way it will agree to stop its dilettantish behaviour.
To convince it to be happy and satisfied with what is.
To harmonize with its friend the consciousness.
To stop imagining that the grass is greener on the other side of the hill therefore unable to see the rich pasture we happen to be in now.

The paradox is that the Fuso Szulc happens to be in the desert where no green grass grows.
But then, as Goethe said, everything is a metaphor.
El Triple is a metaphor for rich pastures and we must hope the subconscious is able to smell green grass in the dry desert.


1 comment:

robert Hill said...

The funny thing is that many of your blog readers, myself included, use your daily writings to escape our tiny stucco homes and dream of being on the road. Living vicariously through your journey is an enjoyable daily ritual that gets me for a short time out of my daily grind.But yes I have always said that you could give a man a job selling icecream on a nude beach making $50,000 a week surrounded by beautiful women and if you came back in a year he would find something to complain about. I's human nature, thanks for the peek into your journey, Robert