Friday, May 23, 2008

Tears needed

Sometimes people make in their life sentimental journeys.
They go back to a place where they once lived and re-live the emotions.
They often cry there.

Another possible sentimental journey is to go to a place where a father or a mother has been living.
A place only known from stories and never visited before.
Plenty of tears are often shed there as well.

Before to go to Lvov and Chodorow it was asked how sentimental it all would get.
How emotional it would be to walk the same streets of Lvov as the father once did.
To be in front of the sugar factory in Chodorow once run by the grandfather.
To visit the small church of that village where the father definitely has been praying, good catholic as he was.
To stand in front of the grave where the grandfather is resting since 1934.

Did any emotions come to the surface?
Did the heart start beating faster?
Was there an uneasy nervousness?
Did tears roll down the cheeks?

To great surprise, it was noticed, both in Lwow and in Chodorow, that hardly any emotions were waken up.
It was more like a fact-finding mission discovering what was being looked for.
A very factual expedition experienced almost like a scientist, a detective or an investigator.

And this makes sense because, is someone supposed to cry in front of a grave of a grandfather who has never been met and about who not even one story has ever been told?
A totally unknown man therefore.
No tears or other sentimental feelings were welling up except for a certain gratitude.
For grandfather to be indirectly responsible for current existence.

Is someone to become emotional walking in 2008 the boulevard of Lvov where the father paraded with his fiancé in 1938?
It was simply experienced as a curiosity.
A funny twist in the matrix of reality.

The expedition to the Ukraine and into the paternal history was fascinating and unique.
But not sentimental.

As a contrast to the journey to the Ukraine recently, the last two days have been spent in the city of Krakow and this almost all the time in the presence of a most remarkable person.

Every one of us is carrying a field of energy that spreads around us.
Depending who you are and how much you are evolved with your charisma and personality, this field of energy can be between weak or strong.

Many people are not aware of these fields of energy, but once this knowledge has been acquired and it has been learned to feel and read these fields of energy, it becomes a relevant part of being aware of the existence and presence of other people.
The combination of listening to and respecting the intuition in connection with reading and feeling the energy field, makes it a very special experience to meet other people.

This person of the last two days had a very strong field of energy and in there could be found tremendous beauty and harmony.
It was an extraordinary experience to share the own field with the other and it became addictive.
Every moment possible was looked for to have this sensational phenomenon happen.
It grew and grew in beauty and intensity.

To make it a very painful experience to eventually separate.
To feel later the hurtful after effects of the disconnection of the two energy fields for a very long time.

To the contrary of the journey to the Ukraine, the last one to Krakow was loaded with emotion.

What to do with this hole in the own field of energy suffered in Krakow?
How to fill it up?
With tears?


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