Blonde jokes

There is this very good friend in the life who is highly educated, very intelligent, bright and having a wonderful personality.
And she is blonde and beautiful.

Recently she was sending an e-mail and let us share here her words:

Two blondes living in Oklahoma were sitting on a bench talking, and
one blonde says to the other, "Which do you think is farther away....
Florida or the moon?"
The other blonde turns and says: "Helloooooooooo, can you see Florida
?????"


SPEEDING TICKET
A police officer stops a blonde for speeding and asks her very nicely
if he could see her licence.
She replied in a huff: "I wish you guys would get your act together.
Just yesterday you take away my licence and then today you expect me
to show it to you!"

RIVER WALK
There's this blonde out for a walk.
She comes to a river and sees another blonde on the opposite bank.
"Yoo-hoo!" she shouts, "How can I get to the other side?"
The second blonde looks up the river then down the river and shouts
back: "You ARE on the other side."

AT THE DOCTOR'S OFFICE
A gorgeous young redhead goes into the doctor's office and said that
her body hurt wherever she touched it.
"Impossible!" says the doctor. "Show me."
The redhead took her finger, pushed on her left shoulder and screamed,
then she pushed her elbow and screamed even more.
She pushed her knee and screamed; likewise she pushed her ankle and screamed.
Everywhere she touched made her scream.
The doctor said, "You're not really a redhead, are you?
"Well, no" she said, "I'm actually a blonde."
"I thought so," the doctor said. "Your finger is broken."

KNITTING
A highway patrolman pulled alongside a speeding car on the freeway.
Glancing at the car, he was astounded to see that the blonde behind the
wheel was knitting!
Realizing that she was oblivious to his flashing lights and siren, the
trooper cranked down his window, turned on his bullhorn and yelled,
"PULL OVER!"
"NO!" the blonde yelled back, "IT'S A SCARF!"

BLONDE ON THE SUN
A Russian, an American, and a Blonde were talking one day.
The Russian said: "We were the first in space!"
The American said: "We were the first on the moon!"
The Blonde said: "So what? We're going to be the first on the sun!"
The Russian and the American looked at each other and shook their
heads.
"You can't land on the sun, you idiot! You'll burn up!" said the Russian.

To which the Blonde replied: "We're not stupid, you know. We're going
at night!"

IN A VACUUM
A blonde was playing Trivial Pursuit one night.
It was her turn.
She rolled the dice and she landed on Science & Nature.
Her question was: "If you are in a vacuum and someone calls your name, can you hear
it?"
She thought for a time and then asked, "Is it on or off?"

FINALLY, THE BLONDE JOKE TO END ALL BLONDE JOKES!
A girl was visiting her blonde friend, who had acquired two new dogs,
and asked her what their names were.
The blonde responded by saying that one was named Rolex and one was named Timex.
Her friend said: "Whoever heard of someone naming dogs like that?"
"HELLLOOOOOOO......," answered the blond... "They're watch dogs!"

Jokes that are about blondes presume that a woman who has that color of hair is dumb and stupid.
There are the same jokes about the Polish and the Irish presuming they have hardly any functioning of the brains.
These jokes are an excellent demonstration of generalizing.
To presume in jokes that all blondes are stupid is only a demonstration of stupidness of the comedian.
Although there are some blondes who are stupid.
Same for some photographers, some Americans, some Italians and many dogs.
But there are also very intelligent blondes, very intelligent photographers, very intelligent Americans, very intelligent Italians and smart dogs.

Therefore we should avoid telling jokes based on generalizations.
No more jokes, please, about blondes.
Because besides exceptions, they are not dumb at all.

But there is an exception to this new law that forbids to tell jokes about blondes.
The exception is that it is allowed in case you are a blonde yourself.
Then you have the freedom and credit to crack a joke on blondes.

This was explained by this very good friend in the life who is highly educated, very intelligent, bright, having a wonderful personality and blonde and beautiful.
She said:

"I am a blond (to some people anyway).
If we cannot laugh at ourselves then we take ourselves far too seriously.
I see these jokes as perfectly harmless and quite funny in fact.
Laughter is the best medicine".

Therefore, we will tell no more jokes about Jews, blacks, Polish and Irish people, women in general, photographers, rednecks and country and western music lovers.
Unless you are one yourself.


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