Saturday, December 2, 2006

Hello halo

Last night, after eating with his friends, the Gonzales family, he walked to his motor home and saw the almost full moon surrounded by a gigantic halo. This circle of coloured light around the moon, caused by refraction through ice crystals in the atmosphere, promised a new day with strong winds and low temperatures.
That was a prediction of the future he could make without any doubt. At the same time he realized he could not be so sure about his Princess now returned from India to the country where she temporarily lives. He had seen on his list of Skype-contacts that she is back.
She even had added a motto to her Skype-name:

“Don’t think, do it!”

A motto from his own heart and would she not think twice and call him soon or at least write? Of course, she has her list of persons who are first to get her attention. On top are her mother and her father and her grandmother and her brother. He wondered how high he has climbed on her list of priorities. Maybe he is not on that list at all but on a sub-list with a low level of priority? Coming into view and consideration after unpacking the luggage ? As long as he has not heard from her these thoughts shoot in all kinds of directions in his head.
And he forces himself to remember a very sweet e-mail he received yesterday from one of his best friends who wrote:

“ The youthfulness of your spirit makes you open for youthfull people. I believe that you attract those people on an energetic level. This in combination with your passion for beauty makes you the person who you are. In this are based your own beauty and your talents. This makes you into a more than pleasant person to be with. Try to feel this inner wealth and keep the energy it releases close to yourself. It is of course wonderful to loose yourself in a feeling of being in love but if that love is impossible, it eventually makes you pay for it with your own valuable energy. The energy which makes you every day the person you are…”.

It is true he can’t stop himself of imagining a near future with his Princess. Travelling together. Working together. While he is a person who lives normally rather in the here and now only. Not concerned about the future. But this is all coming from the deepest roots of his existence. And he knows therefore only one thing can be done: trust that life has the best intentions with him.
He remembers he wrote a text for a friend on that subject on the 1st of July 2005:

Life is the best we received.
It is the most wonderful present.
Because, everything you want to know, you know.
Everything you want to do, you can.
The life we received comes included with all this.

There is only one thing we need to do.
To accept this present.

We must ask ourselves: do we accept the present of life?
The same question is: do I live, as I really want?
And: am I doing the work that I really want?

If we can answer these questions positively, we live our own life.
If we have to answer these questions negatively, we do not live our own life but instead, we give it away.
It is not our life anymore but it belongs to forces in society.
We received a gift and we refused to accept it.

What stops us from choosing to live our own life whatever the consequences?
Stopping us are fear and feelings of insecurity.
If you want to choose to live truly your own life, you have questions.
How am I going to make money?
Can I make something of value?
Who is interested in what I will make?
Who will need me living my own life?

There are answers to these questions.
But you find these answers only by choosing to live your own life and have the experience.
You cannot find the answers before: nobody can tell you.

So, how to overcome fear and deal with feelings of insecurity?
Two important things.

One is, there will always be fear and feelings of insecurity.
Whatever you choose to do in life, it comes with feelings of fear and insecurity.
They never go completely away.
Not one person is without them.
Therefore, we need to learn to accept we sometimes have fear and insecurity.

Second, we must learn to believe in ourselves.
That whatever we want, we can do.
And why can we do whatever we want?
Because we have fully accepted life and live and work from our hearts.
Our hearts are in what we do.

When we have learned to be in balance with our fears and insecurity and when we live and work from our hearts, embracing life, something amazing is happening.
Because we have accepted the gift of life, life is taking care of us.
Everything we need comes to us.
Everything we don’t need stays away.

He needs to read his own text and convince himself again he is right to express his interest in the Princess and that he is admitting to his feelings for her. To find the trust it is all right as it is now. Whether she comes to him or not is not something he needs to worry about. Life will have him experience what is the best for him.
It is all as perfect and harmonious as the halo around the moon.

No comments: