Lack of love 2

It concerns us all when fellow human beings did not receive parental love.
Because the behaviour of LPL’s (LPL = lacked parental love) is strongly influenced by their childhood experiences and affecting us all.

Many LPL’s are angry.
Angry with life.
Angry about having been so unfortunate.
Angry with the father, the mother, for not having been there for the child.
This anger is understandable.
However, a LPL is often not aware that the anger expressed is coming from being unable to accept that parental love has been lacking.
Nor is this understood by society.
It seems to be anger without reasons and roots.
Unexplainable.
But the anger is an expression of a frustration.
This anger can be directed in different ways.
It can lead to self-destruction by applying negative habits like alcoholism or drug abuse.
Or the anger can be focused on other people.
Making others suffer for the misery they feel themselves.
We find many LPL’s in prisons.

Other LPL’s are desperate in a different way.
Desperately looking for love to compensate the lack of it they feel.
A hopeless search because no love can replace nor compensate later the love lacked from the parents.
This love LPL’s try to find and receive from individuals.
By trying to find a partner.
Or by developing a talent to the extreme, trying to obtain the love, sympathy, recognition and affection of the general public as a compensation for the lacked parental love.

In Budapest, Hungary, is an orphanage, called the Pikler Institute, where they apply a specific method for the children without parental love.
The nurses, called caretakers, are instructed to explain every little detail of what they are doing with the orphaned babies.
For example, changing diapers, the nurse explains to the baby every move being made.
Talking directly to the baby and looking in the eyes.
It is fascinating to see that the baby actually listens and this very attentively.
What the Hungarians are doing is insisting the baby of its existence.
A father or a mother giving love to the child is in fact only confirming constantly the existence of the child and this in the most positive way possible.
At the Pikler Institute they understand this and apply a substitute method that is highly effective.

Orphans from the Pikler Institute, now adults, are balanced persons.
Not angry and not desperately searching for love.
As can be seen in the TV-documentary made by Bernard Martino called “Lóczy, a place to grow”.

Societies can help children so unfortunate to lack parental love, like the Pikler Institute in Budapest, Hungary is demonstrating.
But because anybody can freely have children, society is unable to care for all the victims of inadequate and unskilled parents.

A next posting will be about lack of parental love and sublimation.

********************************************************

For more information about the Pikler Institute in Budapest, Hungary, click on:
http://www.journal.naeyc.org/btj/200409/gonzalez.asp