There might be sexual attraction.
They even may fall in love.
And many women and men believe that this is all enough to marry and have children.
But each man and each woman comes with a history.
Which slowly comes to the surface within the relationship they have started based on physical impulsions and excessive emotions.
On the one hand, over time, the physical impulsions and excessive emotions dry up while on the other hand the history of each starts to come to the surface.
This does not necessarily mean that the relationship breaks.
If the history of the two protagonists makes them antagonists, it sometimes is possible to work it out within the relationship and elevate to more advanced persons.
Whatever way it goes, a continuation of the relationship or a breakdown, it is always an experience of learning when having an open consciousness.
The trouble though is that many men and women decide to have children during the limited time they enjoy sexual attraction and excessive emotion.
They have the children and next their histories start to play out.
This is experienced not only by the partner, but by the children also.
When the relationship turns out not to be solid enough to be a vehicle to deal with the histories of the two, a break up follows.
The adults go their way but the children are now without one parent less.
But more importantly, they are impregnated with the histories of both parents.
Besides this impregnation, for adults to use a relationship to see if histories possibly can be worked out, while having children as well, has as a consequence that the love available for the children depends how occupied the parent is with his or her history.
And depends of how well parents know how to deal with the history of the partner.
If the histories of the parents are complicated, they are very occupied with it.
With their own history and with dealing with the partner’s history.
The child consequently is not the centre of their lives.
Their own problems are.
Parents can be so occupied with themselves, that the child hardly receives any love.
Osho, the enlightened spiritual person, has expressed his vision how he sees us in the future.
Published in the book “The book of man. The new man for the millennium”.
In Osho’s vision we will not have the freedom anymore to simply decide ourselves to have children.
Before to have a child, parents will be tested in how far they have dealt with their own history to see if they are not troubled by it anymore.
In the next posting, the subject will be what it is for a child to be born in a family where hardly love is available due to personal problems the parents are having.
A last remark.
In this posting it is a man and a woman who are presented as the ones to have a child and raise it.
But it also is valid for two men or two women having a child and raising it.
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To learn more about the important book of Osho, titled "The book of man. The new man for the millenium", click on:
http://cgi.ebay.co.uk/OSHO-THE-BOOK-OF-MAN-THE-NEW-MAN-FOR-THE-MILLENIUM_W0QQcmdZViewItemQQitemZ180085110482
2 comments:
Hi Michael.....I found your blog through Tioga George, and have enjoyed reading your many thoughtful, philosphical posts.
On your current topic...."Osho's New Man"....what you relate about men and women having children before their histories are dealt with is so true. This is what the dating/courtship period is about. Many rush into marriage before they really know the other. It seems to take 1 1/2 to 2 years for this process to take its course. Unless the man and woman choose willfully to turn a "blind eye" to issues with each other, hoping those "problems" will get better, or improve after marriage, it is possible to marry and have children early in the marriage. If we ignore the problems, they will only get worse after marriage, not better. It seems that too many today marry thinking they can "change" their marriage partner, or that their "love" will make the other better. Not possible...doesn't work. Unless you marry someone loving them just as they are with all their positives and their short comings, eccentricities, etc. the marriage will probably fail.
All things being equal the best coupling for a baby is a man and a woman living in a committed, loving relationship. Each (male/female) has something different, and valuable to offer a child that the other cannot. On the otherhand, all things still being equal, and a child is stranded in an orphanage, or foster home and two men, or two women, or one man, or one woman, or a married man and woman adopts them, then wonderful. It is now in this child's best interests to have a loving parent, or parents, regardless of sex. But to intentionally bring a child into the world at birth and intentionally deny him, or her a loving mother and father is not in the baby's best interests. The only really important issue here is what is best for a baby/child, not what is best for adults.
Repectfully submitted.....Clarke Hockwald
Hmm. Not how we did it. We fell into infatuation, got pregnant, then got married, then got pregnant again and had 2 kids before one of us was 23. Been married happily now for 24 years and raised two great kids, even though we both had to finish growing up and dealing with our histories during our marriage.
How did that work? Well, we both have such strong religious beliefs (not strong enough to keep from getting pregnant, but strong enough to make the right decision when we take the time to think before we act!) that neither of us would have ever considered divorce to be an option. So whenever we had problems, the only issue was how we would solve it rather than whether we would solve it. That's worked out great!
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